'Moms' group helps supports mothers who have lost a child 
02/13/07 By Lesley Hughes – Staff Writer 

When a stranger asks Teresa Masters if she has any children, she tells them no. For her, saying this is easier than explaining the truth--that her two children have passed away. 

“I was blessed with two beautiful children and like most parents never dreamed someday I would have to bury one much less two,” Masters said. 

Following the death of her daughter Laurie Rice in 1995 and her son J.R. Rice in 2000, Masters dealt with the pain of losing two children and knowing that no one else can truly understand her pain, except for mothers who have experienced the same loss. 

So she started a support group for mothers with deceased children. 

“I know there are mothers in our communities that have lost children through death,” she wrote in a letter to Unicoi Baptist Church asking to use their fellowship hall as a meeting place. “This is a hard road to walk alone. 

“It helps me to hear there are some who care and haven’t forgotten. There will be a comfort for the mothers knowing everyone attending these meetings are there for the same purpose. No matter what age the child or how long they have been gone, they are still our babies." 

The group, simply called Moms, has a mission to “serve those in need and to one day see their babies again." 

Since the first meeting in 2006 with 11 mothers, the group has grown and helped members find solace in one another as each individual can truly understand the pain of losing a child. 

All the women who spoke with The Erwin Record agreed that no one can understand the pain until it happens to them. 

“People compare it losing a mom or dad or they say, ‘I know how you feel. I lost my brother,’ one member said. “But it is not the same. Your kids are part of your heart and a losing one is like losing a piece of your soul." 

Everyone agreed that the only thing that comforted them is when someone said, “I am praying for you. You will be in my thoughts.” Nothing else said can ease the pain. Especially not, “It happened for a reason.” or “You have other children." 

“They don’t know how to respond,” Masters said. “Just say, ‘I am praying for you and thinking of you.’ " 

Susan McInturff, whose son, Shepherd, died July 19, 2005, offered this advice: “Say, ‘I’m praying for your family’ or some words to know they care and haven’t forgotten. ... Some people have never mentioned my child to me – like it didn’t happen. (We’re) not contagious." 

These women are connected for a common reason, but their stories are anything but the same. 

All of the children have died at various ages and by accidents, illness and some are still unsolved mysteries. 

But to them the cause of death is not important. No one is judged. No one is blamed. What is important is keeping the memory of their children alive. 

“You just don’t want people to forget,” said Jo Ann Edwards, whose son, Terry Lee was mysteriously killed on a railroad track at the age of 23. 

She holds onto the last picture taken of him on the night he died. On the back of the photo, it is signed by the friends he was camping with that night. At her home, she still has a note her son had written. “Be back in a minute, Love Yuns." 

To each mother, certain songs, people, places and other little things bring back memories of their child. 

“You always remember the last thing they said to you,” Masters said. 

Her daughter, Laurie, was leaving after celebrating her mother’s birthday when she said, “I love you, and I will see you in the morning.” She was killed in a car accident on the way home that evening. 
Members range in age from women whose children have been dead only a few months and others who died decades ago. Masters said the older mothers who have been through the pain and suffering are looked up to. 

“We look up to these people,” she said. “They’ve been there, and they have survived. We know there is hope." 

Masters emphasized that everything that is discussed in the meetings is kept confidential and the meetings are only located in the church fellowship hall for convenience. Prospective members do not have to be affiliated with the church to join. The Moms support group meets the third Thursday of each month at 7 p.m. at Unicoi Baptist Church. For more information, call Masters at 735-0294.