When
our third child Alec was born, his eyes looked so small. The nurse
laughed and said, Oh no, his eyes are every bit as big as the rest
of him. She was right.
Alec did have the biggest, loveliest blue eyes.
I am the last of eight children and when Alec was born in December 2002, he
became my parent’s 25th grandchild. Alec was the happiest baby. It was
so easy to make him laugh and our other 2 children loved to do that.
Adriann and I have always made the safety of our children our highest priority.
One of the major reasons we bought our house that we live in was because it is
the last house on a dead-end street and we knew it would be safer for the kids.
Adriann bought cargo nets for our station wagon to keep objects from flying around
in case of an accident. Our children are the most important thing in our lives,
and there is so much I could share about them, but this letter would be way too
long.
No parent is ever prepared to lose a child. I always thought the worst thing
I would have to do is bury my parents. But on April 24th of last year, a close
family member backed up his SUV and ran over Alec, killing him instantly. I
can not tell you how devastated our family has been from this horrific accident.
We have faith and we know Alec is in heaven; however our hearts are still broken.
We are fortunate to have no regrets with him. Adriann is a flight attendant,
but with family leave and other time off, she never had to leave him to go
to work. We brought him everywhere. In Alec’s 16 months, he flew to Italy,
Aruba, San Francisco, Chicago, Florida, Washington DC and Kentucky. He even
skied on my back in the Catskills. He did more in his short life then some
people do
in lifetime. It is our hope that in his death, he will have more of an impact
on people’s lives than most do.
In the year since Alec died we have been grieving him every day, and I am sure
that will go on for the rest of our lives. We have been busy helping our other
children through this agonizing time, and cannot speak highly enough of Bereavement
Counseling. We were blessed with a daughter in February, and I can’t
tell you how much she means to us and the rest of our family. We have also
been busy
honoring Alec’s life and trying to make a difference to others. Over
$50,000 was donated by friends, family and strangers to build Alec’s
Playground for children in a poor neighborhood in Huntington Station. Now those
children
have a safe place to play. Last December, in honor of Alec’s second birthday,
dinner was cooked for veterans at the Northport VA Hospital on Christmas day,
and we gave 70 pairs of winter gloves, hats and thermal socks as a gift to
everyone who came to the dinner.
We also created the Alec William Nelson Charitable Corporation whose primary
goal is to help children and families in need. We met with social workers from
the local school district and
Alec’s Corporation started paying for needy children’s
lunches. Many of these children can’t afford school field trips and after
school programs, things that most of us take for granted. We are trying to make
a small difference in these children’s lives by sponsoring them for these
activities, instead of them having to stay in the nurse’s office or the
library while their class goes on a field trip. In April, we organized a 4 mile
race in our hometown of Dix Hills and over 500 people came and ran in Alec’s
Run, “A Celebration of Life”. It was a wonderful event and we also
informed people of the dangers of the “blind spot” behind vehicles,
which is so big, it is now being called the blind zone.
We have also been working with Kids And Cars. This organization has made tremendous
strides in working to make cars safer for children, but there is much more to
be done. We were appalled to learn that this type of tragedy kills at least two
children a week across America and injures thousands every year.
There have been at least two incidents on Long Island since Alec’s. People
just don’t realize how quickly something like this can happen and there
are no official statistics being kept, just the ones the Kids And Cars is able
to document. Tragically, most of these incidents are preventable and most of
the time the driver is the child’s parent or family member. I can’t
begin to tell you how this devastates a family. Even if we can help prevent
one family from going through what we are going through, it is well worth it.
They say that the death of a child robs the parents of the future. Every day
we wonder about Alec, what he would look like, what he would be saying, how he
would play with his brother and sisters. We have met many bereaved parents and
we have that common bond, the pain and agony of losing a child. You know what
you have all gone through, and are going though, every day of your life. Our
lives are forever changed. It is our hope that through awareness and existing
technology,the tragic backover deaths can be
eliminated. Thank you for taking the time to read about our little boy Alec,
who is loved and missed so dearly.
Alec’s Mom
and Dad.
